So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane (p. 88).

I can’t describe how gross this quote is. Really? Alaska is a mystery and a hurricane? How many more cliches can we throw in the mix to describe this girl? Kindle tells you how many people highlight a certain quote, and the very worst part is, 727 people highlighted this, probably honestly enjoying the metaphor. UGH.

I pictured him waking up in the morning, staring at his closet, and thinking, Hmm…hmm…how about a white shirt and a black tie? Talk about a guy who could use a wife (100).

UGHHHH. This is only one example of Miles’ blatant sexism throughout the novel. I tried to excuse a lot of it. I mean, Green is writing him as a privileged, male, white teenager. But some of this shit just can’t be explained away. Like, I don’t think John Green feels this way personally, but why have your narrator be so stupid?

And just so y’all don’t think I’m a total hater, here’s a quote I actually liked:

It was right then, between when I asked about the labyrinth and when she answered me, that I realized the importance of curves, of the thousand places where girls’ bodies ease from one place to another, from arc of the foot to ankle to calf, from calf to hip to waist to breast to neck to ski-slope nose to forehead to shoulder to the concave arch of the back to the butt to the etc. I’d noticed curves before, of course, but I had never quite apprehended their significance. (p. 19).

So, yeah. I like that imagery.